So today I was talking to a friend that I basically grew up with, and we are still “friends” on Facebook. Our paths have crossed a few times over the years, and through Facebook we have been supportive of each others lives. For the most part, we haven’t seen each other since we were in our 20’s. On Facebook however, you don’t get the true picture of a persons life. Facebook is the generic happy version of our lives, the one we all want to share. Don’t get me wrong some people do share their other feelings too. Their sadness, feeling lonely, hurt, bitter, angry etc. I think society mostly skips over those posts, and moves on to the babies, the kittens and puppies, the funny sayings and political spoofs, and the good times people are having.
I don’t want to say much about my friend, as it’s not my place to tell her story, or share her life but while we were talking, we discussed the struggles with kids, and that having a support group to help when kids are young is very hard to find. Especially if you don’t have family or friends available to help. She then tells me how she was inspired by all that I do with house projects, having gone back to school, ebay, etc. I told her that she has inspired me with things that she had been doing. I have “Facebook”, followed her life for years. Romance, kids, family life, schooling, her general zest for life, nice house, great husband and career. (you see where I am going) Neither of us have realized just how much the other may have struggled over the years, because we only saw each others Facebook, “face”!
This conversation with her is what inspired me to want to write this blog about the real “faces” of Facebook. My Facebook face is this happy go lucky, out all the time with friends and family living it up. Life is good, here’s this awe inspiring quote, or sarcastic zinger (ok that is all my faces), cute, funny, one angle picture taking self, single, but strong woman making my way through life. Look at me making money on Ebay and flipping these shoes for $50! I don’t need no stinking man, hear me roar!!! All part of my life for sure but there’s so much more. The live version of me is in dolby surround sound, blasted on the highest volume. If I roar you will hear me for blocks. Hell, when I talk you can hear me for blocks. I am loud, my brothers are loud, we are a loud family, except for my sweet little mom (god bless her, I don’t know how she deals with us). The version of me that you get online is quiet, it doesn’t show me yelling at the kids because they won’t do the dishwasher, or get in the shower, the car, and all the other reasons they make me yell. I’m the mom that pulls off on the side of the road, and tells her kid to get out in the middle of the night because she opened the door (while going 70) in protest because I’m a mean mom making her do homework (nope, not snapchatting that). I’m also a mom that worries about if my kids get seriously sick or hurt, I will be in trouble because we have no health insurance. Worried they like their dad more because he spends more money on them and can buy them things that I can’t. I’m also scared of never falling in love again, or falling in love with the wrong one, and I will be alone forever.
My struggle has always been comparing myself to other people. Facebook has made it so we can do just that. I always want to be skinnier; prettier, happier, travel more, have a nicer house, (oh did you see her kitchen) have more money, nicer car, more friends, blah, blah, blah. I am jealous of those of you who have husbands to complain about. Some of you may be jealous that I don’t have one to deal with. I wish, I was stuck home on a Friday night in my jammies with my spouse and family! And you may wish you could be out at happy hour with friends like me.The list could go on for days. But the simple truth is, just because it’s different than what you have, doesn’t make it better. Don’t for a second believe a smiling picture of a group of friends out on the town on Facebook are having a great time! Because that same group 5 seconds ago had their faces in their phones, not even talking to each other seeing what other people on Facebook were doing.
The faces of Facebook can be deceiving, judge your life by your life! Set goals for the things that you want in your life, because you want them, and make a plan to get them. Reach out to people that has the life you think you want, and see if it truly is magical. Heck, just reach out to people in general, make new friends, visit old ones, learn new things.
There is a whole world out there to explore and it’s meant to be seen, felt, tasted and smelled. Don’t let the world wide web be the only one you see!
New motto this year (if you put it out there it will come)…Wishing you all Health, Wealth, Happiness and Love!