Online dating Lesson 1, Your Profile!

The world of online dating is definitely not for the faint of heart. If you are single and haven’t ventured into that world yet please read on. If you have dated from there please feel free to read on, just because you can or should be able to relate and will feel part of a big online dating family.

Ok lesson one: Creating Your Profile. Try to think of your profile as a Macy’s window. You want to show the shiny exciting things that highlight your best features. This of course starts with pictures. (Men usually just look at pictures) Your pictures need to be recent, and they need to be of you doing fun things. Travel, dinners with friends, bike rides, beach, boating. And not all selfies, you need full figure pictures of your self. Remember you are marketing yourself (not selling yourself, that’s illegal). Men, women do not need to see shirtless pics, or you in your wife beater, chilling on the couch. Funny difference between men, and women selfies. Women take their pictures up high (hides our chins) and men take their pictures down low (right up their nostrils). Sometimes I think men are trying to hide their phone under the steering wheel while taking a picture of themselves. This angle is not good boys. Try straight on or maybe a little higher. But girls, you using your go go gadget arms to shoot super high pic’s isn’t fair either. Yes it may slim you down, but remember the goal is to actually meet someone, they are going to see the “real” you at a straight on angle.

Ok moving on to what you want to say in your profile. I can attest that this doesn’t really seem to matter. Many won’t even read most of what you write. And the ones that do read it, never remember it when they start messaging you. I have tried many different variations. I have put everything out there, what I want, who I am, that I have kids, that I want to find happily ever after, that I don’t want a hook up, or a threesome. But I think we all pretty much look at the same things. Pictures, height, job, kids, smoking or non smoking and relationship status or what they are looking for. So my non expert reccomendtion is this; tell about yourself briefly, you have kids, (it’s important) hobbies, what you do for fun, etc. Next put what you are looking for. A long term relationship, just getting back to dating and you don’t know,  FWB, side piece, threesome, sister wife, friends to do things with, in town for one night and want to hook up, (I’ve seen it all) whatever it may be. Just be honest with what your intentions are. This is mostly meant to see if you have things in common.  If you put everything in the profile you will have nothing to discuss on the first meet.

Well that’s all I can think of on the profile side of things, next blog will be about the messaging side of it. Who messages first, when and how to respond, why you should or shouldn’t respond. Till then, wishing you health, wealth, and happiness!



Life is Still Good

As I sat down to write this blog post, I was thinking about how my life seems to be this big hamster wheel where I just keep spinning in the same circle. I have the same job, and consistently hang out at the same places, with the same friends. I have dated the same guy off and on for years (trying to make a square peg fit into a round hole). I’ve lived in the same house for almost 18 years now (except for the year in the big house). I am the most consistent person I know. (change scares me)  Taco night is every other Wednesday with the kids and neighbors. (unless a schedule change is needed) My friends and family know exactly what to expect from me. They call I answer, they need something, I try to get it or do it for them,  and if they ask to go do something, I am almost always in.

I want more in my life. I want to be challenged, I want to feel alive, wanted, desired, respected and maybe even a little needed.  I want to find something that gives me the joy like people get when they walk into Harry Potter land and are so enthralled with how cool it is. Or the excitement, people feel about a new star wars movie or video game. How do you find something that gives you this sense of awe?

Is this a MID LIFE CRISIS ?!?! MAYBE!!!  So what should I do? Do I race out and find a new lover, buy a sports car, cut my hair off, dye it pink? Should I get me some fishnet stockings, leather skirt, some piercings, and a tattoo? (hmmm maybe) Quit my job and pray to find another one? Man I wish I had the nerve to do these things! I envy people who are able to take risks, shoot for the stars!

This year I have been trying to push myself a little more. I started, and have stuck to changing my eating habits. (AKA someone new is going to see me naked, better lose weight…JK, NR) I have gone to the gym at least once a week (yes I know it could be more). I am now down 46 pounds from when I started in January. I left the country, ( me, I did that) and not just on a plane, but also rented a car and took off through several countries without a plan. (completely unheard of for me) My partner in crime even drove us through a town square, jazz festival, and we didn’t get shot as the crowds parted to let us pass through. (pretty sure there would of been a swat team taking us out had we been in the U. S.) I have gone back to reading, (working on my decision making skills and making better choices) and taking time for me to just be still. ( I’m never still for long).

With all this said, even though I feel trapped in a life cycle, I know that it’s a pretty great cycle to be trapped in. And until love, and passion and a new found sense of wonder comes my way, I am happy to report that life is still good!

If you have any reccomendations on spicing life up, I would love to hear them.

Till the next time, I wish you health, wealth and happiness!


The Faces of Facebook

So today I was talking to a friend that I basically grew up with, and we are still “friends” on Facebook. Our paths have crossed a few times over the years, and through Facebook we have been supportive of each others lives. For the most part,  we haven’t seen each other since we were in our 20’s. On Facebook however, you don’t get the true picture of a persons life. Facebook is the generic happy version of our lives, the one we all want to share. Don’t get me wrong some people do share their other feelings too. Their sadness, feeling lonely, hurt, bitter, angry etc. I think society mostly skips over those posts, and moves on to the babies, the kittens and puppies, the funny sayings and political spoofs, and the good times people are having.

I don’t want to say much about my friend, as it’s not my place to tell her story, or share her life but while we were talking, we discussed the struggles with kids, and that having a support group to help when kids are young is very hard to find. Especially if you don’t have family or friends available to help. She then tells me how she was inspired by all that I do with house projects, having gone back to school, ebay, etc.  I told her that she has inspired me with things that she had been doing. I have “Facebook”, followed her life for years. Romance, kids, family life, schooling, her general zest for life, nice house, great husband and career. (you see where I am going) Neither of us have realized just how much the other may have struggled over the years, because we only saw each others Facebook, “face”!

This conversation with her is what inspired me to want to write this blog about the real “faces” of Facebook.  My Facebook face is this happy go lucky, out all the time with friends and family living it up. Life is good, here’s this awe inspiring quote, or sarcastic zinger (ok that is all my faces), cute, funny, one angle picture taking self,  single, but strong woman making my way through life. Look at me making money on Ebay and flipping these shoes for $50! I don’t need no stinking man, hear me roar!!!  All part of my life for sure but there’s so much more. The live version of me is in dolby surround sound, blasted on the highest volume. If I roar you will hear me for blocks.  Hell, when I talk you can hear me for blocks. I am loud, my brothers are loud, we are a loud family, except for my sweet little mom (god bless her, I don’t know how she deals with us). The version of me that you get online is quiet, it doesn’t show me yelling at the kids because they won’t do the dishwasher, or get in the shower, the car, and all the other reasons they make me yell. I’m  the mom that pulls off on the side of the road, and tells her kid to get out in the middle of the night because she opened the door (while going 70) in protest because I’m a mean mom making her do homework (nope, not snapchatting that).   I’m also a mom that worries about if my kids get seriously sick or hurt, I will be in trouble because we have no health insurance. Worried they like their dad more because he spends more money on them and can buy them things that I can’t.  I’m also scared of never falling in love again, or falling in love with the wrong one,  and I will be alone forever.

My struggle has always been comparing myself to other people. Facebook has made it so we can do just that. I always want to be skinnier; prettier, happier, travel more, have a nicer house, (oh did you see her kitchen) have more money, nicer car, more friends, blah, blah, blah. I am jealous of those of you who have husbands to complain about. Some of you may be jealous that I don’t have one to deal with. I wish, I was stuck home on a Friday night in my jammies with my spouse and family! And you may wish you could be out at happy hour with friends like me.The list could go on for days. But the simple truth is, just because it’s different than what you have, doesn’t make it better. Don’t for a second believe a smiling picture of a group of friends out on the town on Facebook are having a great time! Because that same group 5 seconds ago had their faces in their phones, not even talking to each other seeing what other people on Facebook were doing.

The faces of Facebook can be deceiving, judge your life by your life! Set goals for the things that you want in your life, because you want them, and make a plan to get them.  Reach out to people that has the life you think you want, and see if it truly is magical. Heck, just reach out to people in general, make new friends, visit old ones, learn new things.

There is a whole world out there to explore and it’s meant to be seen, felt, tasted and smelled. Don’t let the world wide web be the only one you see!

New motto this year (if you put it out there it will come)…Wishing you all Health, Wealth, Happiness and Love!

Blog life!

A year ago I had this silly idea to start a blog, and even though I don’t blog as much as I thought I would, I still did it. I like blogging, a lot! (even if no one reads them) I like telling people about my adventures in parenting, home owning, DIY (do it yourself) repairs, and definitely about my dating life (or lack there of, sometimes). Hopefully someone, somewhere is reading this and realizes, hey if she can do this I can. (and if a man is reading this, he realizes what may not work for dating)

Since my, last blog in July I started an eBay business. This has given me an outlet to go shopping which fulfills many needs. My need to be around other people (I hate feeling alone), the retail therapy aspect, (I love finding a deal, who doesn’t) as well as help me to make some extra money (wait I can buy it for $5 and sell for $35). So I am a proud owner of a resale business. Which I know many would say it’s not a big deal, but for me it kinda is. It has given me something to focus on and to motivate me to just be more than I am already. And hey, you don’t know what you can do if you don’t even try right? I could be the next Ebay millionaire !!!

I had taken a break from home projects after the whole termite / roof issue. But I have slowly returned to them by installing recessed lighting in my living room a few months ago, and then I decided that I needed to add them to my kitchen as well. They make a huge difference in my house. I will admit though, I get these things installed and then forget to finish up the projects. My lights, though look great need some drywall repair around them, but hey they work! I love that my house is taking on an updated feel from it’s 1980’s ranch style that it is. I shall just keep plugging away at it and what it slowly transform.

For 2018 I will be challenging myself to build my Ebay business even more. My next goal is to get to where I am making 500 a week in profit, doing it part time. (travel money please) It will take me a bit to get there, but that is why it is a goal. I am also wanting to start designing shirts (sarcasm sells, I’ll be rich) on Amazon. I’m hoping to get my approval for that very soon. For DIY projects, this years focus will be on the outside appearance; yard, patios, painting, and the flooring in the bedrooms. Also want to change out old facets and purge purge purge clothing, towels, and sheets that we seem to keep shoved in closets and never use. ( how many towels does a family of 4 really need? We have hundreds it seems!)

This years send off I have added a few things I want to add to my life this year. For years I have always toasted or wished for, health, wealth and happiness. I now want to send out to the world, love and friendship.

So until next time… I am wishing you, health, wealth, happiness, friendship and love!!!



Divorce and children….

Let me start by saying that I am no expert by any means on divorce or children.  I am by far not the best, or perfect mom. I cuss, talk about things that my kids probably shouldn’t overhear. I am an open book, if they ask me a question I tell them the answer. (usually a sarcastic one)  I have gone out when I should of been home. I have made my children (gasp) fix themselves their own dinner on several occasions. I have cussed their dad and his wife, and every freaking slow driver that gets in my way.

Anyone who knows me, knows my divorce could be a lifetime movie. Hell it probably already is, but I survived, my kids survived and I am a hugely changed person. I am much more open minded about so many more things in life than I ever was, since my divorce. But what I have never, ever done is hold my kids hostage or used them as a personal advantage against my ex.

Having been on the dating scene for what seems like forever, I have met many men. I have met great dads who have full custody of their kids, and would stop the world to give them the best life that they can. (this is such a turn on) But I have also met dads who complain because they feel that they got screwed by their exes just because they have to pay child support, medical insurance etc for their kids. (uh hello jack wagon, they are your kids, you should support them) Moms don’t be fooled, you do this crap too.

But I am not here to talk about child support. I am here to tell you all that divorce sucks. But as much as it sucks for you it really sucks for your kids. They no longer get to see their parents at the same time. Their homes, schools and pretty much everything in their lives is being turned upside down and they have absolutely no say or control in the matter. You, the ex, or the courts are now determining what is in their best interest. So for the love of GOD stop making it about YOUR best interest and think of your child’s.

It’s not going to be easy, emotions are high, and you may feel the need to control some aspect of your divorce by using your kids as leverage. But it is only going to hurt your children. You make your child your best friend, or make yourself feel better by making your kid completely dependent on you. They are not mentally prepared to handle the pressure of feeling like your happiness depends on them. Stop holding them hostage by making them feel like they love you less if they want to spend time with the other parent. Stop thinking that if you ruin their relationship with the other parent that makes you the better parent. Basically stop MIND FUCKING your children to believe what you want them to believe, and trying to make them feel the pain you are feeling over your divorce so they take your side. Kids need to be kids, they need food, love, and physical activity. They need to know that they have the support of their parents and that they can count on them to be there for them when needed.

I didn’t do everything right in my divorce, my kids know more than they should for sure. But I  can’t not talk about this any longer.  It’s too hard to stand by and watch people hurt what they love the most, because they are hurting. I am sick of seeing moms so scared to be on their own that they pit the child against the dad so they can get more money. I am sick of seeing dads talk bad about the mom because they have to pay child support. Or fight for custody of the kids just so they don’t have to pay support, only to leave the kids with other people all the time and not really have a relationship with them.

So whether you are going through a divorce now or are thinking about it or even if you are already divorced. Don’t make your kids collateral damage. Protect their hearts from hurt and  promote the best relationship that they can possibly have with both parents. Try to be the parent you wanted to be when you found out you were going to be a mom or dad. Remember that you wanted more for them than you had for yourself. Remember our job as parents to teach our kids what is right and wrong and how to treat others. Be the role model that you had or wished you had as a kid.

When the love is gone, try to remember the love that created what you have. The Kids!!!



The 25 Year Degree

This Sunday I will finally end my journey towards getting my college degree. I have been enrolled since I graduated high school in (gasp) 1991. I quit high school when I knew everything, in the beginning of 10th grade. I got a little smarter in the next 3 years and actually went to night school and got my GED the same day as my original graduation date.

I was a horrible teenager with a lot of angst against the world and my surroundings. But after getting hired into the family company, I started to settle in to being a decent young adult. I decided I could go to college and actually do more than run the streets. So after I received my GED, I enrolled at Valencia and started classes fall of 91. After the Fall semester I enrolled in the spring semester, only to meet my future husband in February 1992 and decided I wanted to spend more time with him and dropped out of my classes.

Life remained status quo for awhile, I had a good job with the family company. Corey and I lived together and though engaged after the first year, we were in no hurry to get married. We were happy, and we were trying to have a baby, but a wedding wasn’t important. In the fall of 1997 I decided it was time to go back to school. In November my dad suddenly died and that rocked me more than I expected it too. I never really felt like I fit in with him. He was always closer to my brothers and step brothers than he ever was to me. I was a girl (blog for another day)…..

Shortly after my dads passing we were told by our infertility specialist to lose some weight, get married and he would do an IVF. We had been trying to get pregnant for over 3 years at this point. Well I lost weight and we planned and had the wedding Feb 7,1998. 3 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. And though I finished those classes I didn’t enroll in summer classes. Life as a family was now my focus!

Years passed, I had 6 miscarriages, and finally had twins in 2005 via IVF. We built our dream house in 2008, and then came the dramatic separation and divorce in 2009 which didn’t finish until 2011. 2011 we closed our family business, and I had to find new employment after 21 years in the same job, and now a single mom.

Finally in 2012, while working 2 jobs I decided I needed to find a way to go back to school. I took 2 classes each semester online, in the fall of 2012, spring, summer and fall of 2013. Then I started a new full time job and decided I needed to focus on that at least for a semester. Of course that turned into a 2 year break. In the fall of 2015 I went back and didn’t stop, I was on a mission to finish before my oldest graduated high school.

This Sunday’s graduation represents a lot of things for me. I have finally finished something in my life that no one else can take from me. No matter how long it may have taken me, and how many times I have stopped and started, I will now be a college graduate. This is proof that finishing,  is more important than how you started or what happened in the middle, it’s following through on what you set out to do that matters most.

This was not my normal silly, and sarcastic blog and I’m sorry for that, but I am proud of myself, and I hope that this blog will encourage others not to stop trying to get what you want. I am proof that you can have a life, and make it through college, or start a business or whatever you wish you could do.  If you want it, you can make it happen. It’s not easy, but it is possible.

As always, I wish you health, wealth and happiness. But today I am going to wish you patience and perseverance as well (these are needed most)





Penis pic’s equal “Check Please” Tales of online dating!

I think I could pretty much write about dating, and the challenges that come with it all the time. I know lots of people do already and well I want to be just like them I guess. So here goes…..

WHY, are people so stupid!!!

Dating sucks, I am pretty sure it is not good for either side involved. Men hate having to ask women out and stand to be rejected, the cost of the date and they might worry about where to go and what to wear. Women worry about; being asked on a date, going on the date, where will they go, what should they order, who will pay, what should they wear, what should they talk about, (not exes) hair up or down, straight or curly, how much makeup, will they be safe, will the guy be weird, will I like the guy, the list is freaking endless. And if it’s from an online dating site, it’s even harder! Will they look like their pictures, will they be creepy,  will they have an annoying voice, will they try to drug or rape me,  will they show up, will they walk in and see me an leave, are they actually single, will the wife show up?

So since we all are mostly aware of what they challenges are just to get out on the a date, I want to start sharing stories of actual dates. These tales will give you an inside scoop to what goes on out here in the, after 40 dating world. Maybe you will decide that your spouse that you are considering leaving, might not be so bad after all!

I am going to start these dating tales with a date that happened to a friend. I have to talk about this first because of all my dating days this one shocked even me.

The date had been set and scheduled for an actual dinner, (not common in online dating, usually a meet and greet the first time meeting, easier to escape) at a decent restaurant at 8pm. This would ensure that they have time to get there after work, and it would be after the dinner rush. On a side note my friend agreed to a change of venue so to be closer to his area so he didn’t have to travel as far. (chivalry on her side)

They meet for  dinner, (she tells me later that he immediately tried to kiss her) I do a safety check on her around 30 mins into the date and she responded about 45 mins or so into the date. She was pleased with his appearance (better than his pictures) and he seemed cool (her words). Awesome, have fun talk to you later. Well about 2 hours after the date had begun,  I messaged again to see how she was and if she was home. Only to find out that this man (frat boy) suddenly started showing her dick pictures after dinner while they were sitting outside chatting. (wait, what)

Here is what I am telling you, this guy, buys her dinner, after she declines to let him come home with her, (hello, it’s a first date) to continue the evening they go sit outside of the restaurant to talk, and to get to know each other more. They sit down on a bench and as she is talking to him, he suddenly starts shoving his phone in her face showing her pic’s of his erect penis! ( HELLO, you are sitting next to her if she wanted to see it she would pull it out of your pants!!!!)

I can’t even imagine what her thought process at this time must of been. God bless her, I think she handled it well by asking him why he would do that, and what he expected to gain from it? He told her how much women like to see it, (penises are not pretty) and how that she should see the pictures women send to him. He actually started to pull up the gallery that he has SAVED of these pictures. (this is why you should never take or send these types of pic’s, they don’t go away) In the process he asked her why she was being so bitchy, and eventually said, “well I guess this evening is over!” (well, DUH)

This is why women are afraid to go out on dates. Yes I get that there are people that enjoy sending and receiving these pics. (many people) But if you are on a regular old fashioned date, with a normal person, having a normal conversation, and you are in no way talking about seeing someone’s penis, or having sex, or anything to that matter, WHY would you start showing off that crap while still on the date? I will tell you that this guy told my friend over and over in the week leading up to their date that he was a good guy, and wanted to find a women to have for the rest of his life. (what kind of woman) And men wonder why we don’t freaking believe them when they say it. Well boys, this is one of your own and he makes it hard (obviously for pic’s!) for all the rest of you.

I know there are good men out there, if I didn’t, I would give up dating completely, and just go out with my friends. (wait that’s what I do) My friends are a guaranteed good time, (platonic) but please for the love of God (well women) put your dick pic’s away and be normal at least for the first date. Trust me, if she wants you,and is into seeing your junk in pictures, she will ask you for it, or send pic’s of her nude first. (yes women do this too)

I must say I am very proud of my friend and how she handled this situation, I am thankful that it was only pic’s, and not something put in her drink or worse. I am hopeful that she and you won’t let this deter you from dating, but that it reminds you to keep yourself safe.Using caution when dating doesn’t make you jaded or bitter (people will tell you this), it just makes you protective of your own well being and rightfully so!

Here’s to our Health, Wealth and Happiness and to the many more dating adventures…..



Divorced life….

These days many people have been married and divorced several times, and no divorce is exactly the same.  It doesn’t matter if you wanted the divorce, were blindsided, knew it was imminent, or just devastated by it. We all have emotions, thoughts and feelings we would of never expected and will handle the aftermath of the divorce differently. I’m just here to discuss how it changed me, and to hopefully help you to understand that you aren’t alone. The things you might be thinking and feeling aren’t uncommon.

Those who know me, and were there for my divorce I believe would have testified on my behalf for a justifiable homicide. Had I decided to commit one! (or two) I went through many emotions, sadness, rage, self doubt, and many many insecurities on how I would ever be able to take care of myself and 3 young children. And quite frankly I was worried if anyone would ever want to be with me ever again.  I was 36 years old and had never truly lived on my own. (Rv in moms backyard doesn’t count) Since my divorce, I have found that there are many women that have been in these very same shoes. I am here to tell you that you will find amazing strength in yourself that you didn’t know you had.

People handle divorce differently, many times it is based on how it came about. Those that wanted the divorce are happy to be free and have a new lease on life (happy bastards), others have to grieve. I don’t recall exactly what the stages of dealing with a death are per the books, but I can tell you that you will go through them. To me it was a death! It was the death of my husband (not literally), my best friend (awe shucks), my dream of a normal white picket fence family, and virtually my happily ever after. I started out in the shock, and then the denial kicked in with me fighting (begging) for the chance to change the situation. After awhile I went into the anger and resentment stage.  The, I will show you stage quickly followed, and though this can be a good stage if you are trying to better yourself (got skinny), its not good if you are out being stupid (dating madness).

Whatever you do, do not shut out the world. I have had friends go through a divorce where they just hole up and never come out. This is not good for you!!! Yes, you might need time, and yes it may seem easier to just ignore the world but you can’t. You need to get up and keep kicking ass. If you don’t have friends to talk to, make new ones. was one of the best things I did post divorce. I have great friends, but sometimes you need new ones that don’t know your history. (you don’t have to share it either) With Meetup you can go do things in your area that you may have never done before and meet new people while doing it. Make friends, make new memories, you will never forget the old life that you had and there will be days where you feel overwhelmed and don’t want to keep going. But you will, and you can do it with a smile on your face and hoping for the best or you can do it being sad and bitter, but you will go on. (choose happiness)

Since my divorce, I have gone back to school and earned my degree. (enrolled since 1991, gah!!!) I have worked 2, sometimes 3 jobs since my divorce. My kids have plenty of food and clothes and a roof over their head. We live in our house alone (2 cats and a dog), and quite frankly  I love it. Not every day is easy, unexpected bills come up and things fall apart but I keep going. I am finally able to look forward to the future and all the things that I will do with my kids, my family, and my friends. It may not be the same future that I had planned for, but that doesn’t mean it’s not better. If you are going through a divorce, or been divorced for quite awhile, I hope you know that people are out here rooting for you. Stand up, get dressed and fight the fight. You can be happy and have the life you want to live.



The Why Me Question!

I was watching my current Netflix binge, Girlfriends Guide to Divorce the other day.  This show is my life, less all the money, and daily friends contact, hot doctors, and the heels. (who works in a bakery in 5 inch heels) Ok, so not really my life, but I relate to the emotions that the characters on the show go through.

Now I tend to watch shows while doing many other things. (Most moms do, that’s how we get stuff done) I am watching the show and two different times, with two couples, one asks the other, WHY ME? The second time I heard it, I stopped everything else that I was doing and I started paying attention.  And when I heard her ask him why he wanted to be with her, it made me take a sharp breath in. I, like her cannot seem to accept that someone would want me just because I am me. My sarcasm would say that I am freaking awesome why wouldn’t they want me, but reality is I don’t know why they would. (They must have an ulterior motive, and I must know what it is) Why do we feel this way about ourselves, why can’t we just believe that we are worthy?  Is this something we acquire post-divorce, when we feel like we’ve been discarded? Do most people have this bit of self-doubt, or does a life event trigger it?

I’m no therapist or have a degree in anything that is involved in the dealings of the mind and what causes us to feel this way about ourselves. But I do know when I was watching the show, and she asked why her, it made my heart break for her. I wanted to stand up and fight for her. Why not you; you are smart, funny, beautiful, have a great job? Girl you are crazy he wants you because you are amazing. (Literally yelling at this point) While I am mid yell, I was blindsided with the realization that I need to have that same kind of fight for myself. (I am those things too)

Somewhere along the way in this life we lose the fight for ourselves and instead spend the energy fighting for our family, friends, and other people we care about. Well it’s time that we start caring and fighting for ourselves. If we think it and feel it for them, we need to think it and do it for ourselves.

If it were a man telling me that I couldn’t do something I would be like, why the hell not! But shrink at the thought that someone could love me just for me.

I know this is not a new revelation to the world, this topic has been covered a billion times before, but this time it hit home.

We all deserve to know that it’s you (it’s me), because you have touched someone somehow, and even though you may not see it in yourself, they do.

I’m challenging myself and you, to just shut up that WHY ME voice, and accept that it’s us because we are freaking awesome!!!

Hello 1-900

Holidays are over, I’m back, and back to the adventures of my single life.

So I chatted with this guy a year or so ago, but we never met. ( I tend to weed people out early) Randomly, he pops up on my Facebook messenger. Downside to technology, if you give a guy your phone number you will pop up as someone they may know on Facebook. Bam, they now have your full name, keep this in mind ladies, the dating world can be scary.

So this guy starts with the normal, hi how are you, how have you been, are you still single? Then progresses to, do you like kissing, can I kiss you here and there, would you like if I do this? (Wait am I billing you 9.99 a minute) I just X out and ignore thinking he’d get the idea. (Men never get the idea) NOPE!!!

Hey Shawn, where did you go? Do you like these things being done to you? (The obvious answer is yes of course, doesn’t everyone) Me being the flippant girl that I am tell him that these are to be discovered, and not discussed. Should be the end of the subject right, or let’s get together and start discovering each other? (this is what I would think someone would say)  I get a well we can discuss, till we can discover! Dude you might want to discover my eye color, favorite food, or at the very least meet me in person before you think I am going to tell you my sexual desires. (ps, I can not desire someone I have never met, I am a see it, feel it, touch it kind of girl) So to get my point across, I ask him if he would want some man to one day contact his daughter and speak to her like that? Guess what, he got all freaked out, telling me to not discuss his daughter.( gee daddy, don’t want to think about a pig talking to your little girl that way) Needless to say, the conversation abruptly ended with a good luck to you, and poof we are done.

I, by nooooo means am a prude! If you know me, you know I am the biggest perverted, sexual innuendo person. And I love women who are open and honest with their sexuality and can chat with the best of them. But, if it is someone I am wanting to date, I need to know that there is chemistry between us. Chemistry can’t be known till we are in the same breathing space. So the virtual world of chatting about sex will just have to be for those with a more vivid imagination. ( Hmmm, unless I am getting paid and it’s not someone I will ever meet) I’ll stick to the old fashion, see it, feel it, touch it, and make it my own.

Moral of this story is, no matter what, you are in control of what you want to discuss! The image you want to portray or the role you want to play. Don’t think just because you are single, and you may be eager to go on a date you have to do, or discuss anything that you don’t want to.

Impressions matter, if their best foot forward is covered in warts and smells like a pig, they will most likely always be a pig.

Till the next time, I wish you health, wealth, happiness, and pig free adventures!