Penis pic’s equal “Check Please” Tales of online dating!

I think I could pretty much write about dating, and the challenges that come with it all the time. I know lots of people do already and well I want to be just like them I guess. So here goes…..

WHY, are people so stupid!!!

Dating sucks, I am pretty sure it is not good for either side involved. Men hate having to ask women out and stand to be rejected, the cost of the date and they might worry about where to go and what to wear. Women worry about; being asked on a date, going on the date, where will they go, what should they order, who will pay, what should they wear, what should they talk about, (not exes) hair up or down, straight or curly, how much makeup, will they be safe, will the guy be weird, will I like the guy, the list is freaking endless. And if it’s from an online dating site, it’s even harder! Will they look like their pictures, will they be creepy,  will they have an annoying voice, will they try to drug or rape me,  will they show up, will they walk in and see me an leave, are they actually single, will the wife show up?

So since we all are mostly aware of what they challenges are just to get out on the a date, I want to start sharing stories of actual dates. These tales will give you an inside scoop to what goes on out here in the, after 40 dating world. Maybe you will decide that your spouse that you are considering leaving, might not be so bad after all!

I am going to start these dating tales with a date that happened to a friend. I have to talk about this first because of all my dating days this one shocked even me.

The date had been set and scheduled for an actual dinner, (not common in online dating, usually a meet and greet the first time meeting, easier to escape) at a decent restaurant at 8pm. This would ensure that they have time to get there after work, and it would be after the dinner rush. On a side note my friend agreed to a change of venue so to be closer to his area so he didn’t have to travel as far. (chivalry on her side)

They meet for  dinner, (she tells me later that he immediately tried to kiss her) I do a safety check on her around 30 mins into the date and she responded about 45 mins or so into the date. She was pleased with his appearance (better than his pictures) and he seemed cool (her words). Awesome, have fun talk to you later. Well about 2 hours after the date had begun,  I messaged again to see how she was and if she was home. Only to find out that this man (frat boy) suddenly started showing her dick pictures after dinner while they were sitting outside chatting. (wait, what)

Here is what I am telling you, this guy, buys her dinner, after she declines to let him come home with her, (hello, it’s a first date) to continue the evening they go sit outside of the restaurant to talk, and to get to know each other more. They sit down on a bench and as she is talking to him, he suddenly starts shoving his phone in her face showing her pic’s of his erect penis! ( HELLO, you are sitting next to her if she wanted to see it she would pull it out of your pants!!!!)

I can’t even imagine what her thought process at this time must of been. God bless her, I think she handled it well by asking him why he would do that, and what he expected to gain from it? He told her how much women like to see it, (penises are not pretty) and how that she should see the pictures women send to him. He actually started to pull up the gallery that he has SAVED of these pictures. (this is why you should never take or send these types of pic’s, they don’t go away) In the process he asked her why she was being so bitchy, and eventually said, “well I guess this evening is over!” (well, DUH)

This is why women are afraid to go out on dates. Yes I get that there are people that enjoy sending and receiving these pics. (many people) But if you are on a regular old fashioned date, with a normal person, having a normal conversation, and you are in no way talking about seeing someone’s penis, or having sex, or anything to that matter, WHY would you start showing off that crap while still on the date? I will tell you that this guy told my friend over and over in the week leading up to their date that he was a good guy, and wanted to find a women to have for the rest of his life. (what kind of woman) And men wonder why we don’t freaking believe them when they say it. Well boys, this is one of your own and he makes it hard (obviously for pic’s!) for all the rest of you.

I know there are good men out there, if I didn’t, I would give up dating completely, and just go out with my friends. (wait that’s what I do) My friends are a guaranteed good time, (platonic) but please for the love of God (well women) put your dick pic’s away and be normal at least for the first date. Trust me, if she wants you,and is into seeing your junk in pictures, she will ask you for it, or send pic’s of her nude first. (yes women do this too)

I must say I am very proud of my friend and how she handled this situation, I am thankful that it was only pic’s, and not something put in her drink or worse. I am hopeful that she and you won’t let this deter you from dating, but that it reminds you to keep yourself safe.Using caution when dating doesn’t make you jaded or bitter (people will tell you this), it just makes you protective of your own well being and rightfully so!

Here’s to our Health, Wealth and Happiness and to the many more dating adventures…..

 

 

Divorced life….

These days many people have been married and divorced several times, and no divorce is exactly the same.  It doesn’t matter if you wanted the divorce, were blindsided, knew it was imminent, or just devastated by it. We all have emotions, thoughts and feelings we would of never expected and will handle the aftermath of the divorce differently. I’m just here to discuss how it changed me, and to hopefully help you to understand that you aren’t alone. The things you might be thinking and feeling aren’t uncommon.

Those who know me, and were there for my divorce I believe would have testified on my behalf for a justifiable homicide. Had I decided to commit one! (or two) I went through many emotions, sadness, rage, self doubt, and many many insecurities on how I would ever be able to take care of myself and 3 young children. And quite frankly I was worried if anyone would ever want to be with me ever again.  I was 36 years old and had never truly lived on my own. (Rv in moms backyard doesn’t count) Since my divorce, I have found that there are many women that have been in these very same shoes. I am here to tell you that you will find amazing strength in yourself that you didn’t know you had.

People handle divorce differently, many times it is based on how it came about. Those that wanted the divorce are happy to be free and have a new lease on life (happy bastards), others have to grieve. I don’t recall exactly what the stages of dealing with a death are per the books, but I can tell you that you will go through them. To me it was a death! It was the death of my husband (not literally), my best friend (awe shucks), my dream of a normal white picket fence family, and virtually my happily ever after. I started out in the shock, and then the denial kicked in with me fighting (begging) for the chance to change the situation. After awhile I went into the anger and resentment stage.  The, I will show you stage quickly followed, and though this can be a good stage if you are trying to better yourself (got skinny), its not good if you are out being stupid (dating madness).

Whatever you do, do not shut out the world. I have had friends go through a divorce where they just hole up and never come out. This is not good for you!!! Yes, you might need time, and yes it may seem easier to just ignore the world but you can’t. You need to get up and keep kicking ass. If you don’t have friends to talk to, make new ones. Meetup.com was one of the best things I did post divorce. I have great friends, but sometimes you need new ones that don’t know your history. (you don’t have to share it either) With Meetup you can go do things in your area that you may have never done before and meet new people while doing it. Make friends, make new memories, you will never forget the old life that you had and there will be days where you feel overwhelmed and don’t want to keep going. But you will, and you can do it with a smile on your face and hoping for the best or you can do it being sad and bitter, but you will go on. (choose happiness)

Since my divorce, I have gone back to school and earned my degree. (enrolled since 1991, gah!!!) I have worked 2, sometimes 3 jobs since my divorce. My kids have plenty of food and clothes and a roof over their head. We live in our house alone (2 cats and a dog), and quite frankly  I love it. Not every day is easy, unexpected bills come up and things fall apart but I keep going. I am finally able to look forward to the future and all the things that I will do with my kids, my family, and my friends. It may not be the same future that I had planned for, but that doesn’t mean it’s not better. If you are going through a divorce, or been divorced for quite awhile, I hope you know that people are out here rooting for you. Stand up, get dressed and fight the fight. You can be happy and have the life you want to live.