The Why Me Question!

I was watching my current Netflix binge, Girlfriends Guide to Divorce the other day.  This show is my life, less all the money, and daily friends contact, hot doctors, and the heels. (who works in a bakery in 5 inch heels) Ok, so not really my life, but I relate to the emotions that the characters on the show go through.

Now I tend to watch shows while doing many other things. (Most moms do, that’s how we get stuff done) I am watching the show and two different times, with two couples, one asks the other, WHY ME? The second time I heard it, I stopped everything else that I was doing and I started paying attention.  And when I heard her ask him why he wanted to be with her, it made me take a sharp breath in. I, like her cannot seem to accept that someone would want me just because I am me. My sarcasm would say that I am freaking awesome why wouldn’t they want me, but reality is I don’t know why they would. (They must have an ulterior motive, and I must know what it is) Why do we feel this way about ourselves, why can’t we just believe that we are worthy?  Is this something we acquire post-divorce, when we feel like we’ve been discarded? Do most people have this bit of self-doubt, or does a life event trigger it?

I’m no therapist or have a degree in anything that is involved in the dealings of the mind and what causes us to feel this way about ourselves. But I do know when I was watching the show, and she asked why her, it made my heart break for her. I wanted to stand up and fight for her. Why not you; you are smart, funny, beautiful, have a great job? Girl you are crazy he wants you because you are amazing. (Literally yelling at this point) While I am mid yell, I was blindsided with the realization that I need to have that same kind of fight for myself. (I am those things too)

Somewhere along the way in this life we lose the fight for ourselves and instead spend the energy fighting for our family, friends, and other people we care about. Well it’s time that we start caring and fighting for ourselves. If we think it and feel it for them, we need to think it and do it for ourselves.

If it were a man telling me that I couldn’t do something I would be like, why the hell not! But shrink at the thought that someone could love me just for me.

I know this is not a new revelation to the world, this topic has been covered a billion times before, but this time it hit home.

We all deserve to know that it’s you (it’s me), because you have touched someone somehow, and even though you may not see it in yourself, they do.

I’m challenging myself and you, to just shut up that WHY ME voice, and accept that it’s us because we are freaking awesome!!!

Hello 1-900

Holidays are over, I’m back, and back to the adventures of my single life.

So I chatted with this guy a year or so ago, but we never met. ( I tend to weed people out early) Randomly, he pops up on my Facebook messenger. Downside to technology, if you give a guy your phone number you will pop up as someone they may know on Facebook. Bam, they now have your full name, keep this in mind ladies, the dating world can be scary.

So this guy starts with the normal, hi how are you, how have you been, are you still single? Then progresses to, do you like kissing, can I kiss you here and there, would you like if I do this? (Wait am I billing you 9.99 a minute) I just X out and ignore thinking he’d get the idea. (Men never get the idea) NOPE!!!

Hey Shawn, where did you go? Do you like these things being done to you? (The obvious answer is yes of course, doesn’t everyone) Me being the flippant girl that I am tell him that these are to be discovered, and not discussed. Should be the end of the subject right, or let’s get together and start discovering each other? (this is what I would think someone would say)  I get a well we can discuss, till we can discover! Dude you might want to discover my eye color, favorite food, or at the very least meet me in person before you think I am going to tell you my sexual desires. (ps, I can not desire someone I have never met, I am a see it, feel it, touch it kind of girl) So to get my point across, I ask him if he would want some man to one day contact his daughter and speak to her like that? Guess what, he got all freaked out, telling me to not discuss his daughter.( gee daddy, don’t want to think about a pig talking to your little girl that way) Needless to say, the conversation abruptly ended with a good luck to you, and poof we are done.

I, by nooooo means am a prude! If you know me, you know I am the biggest perverted, sexual innuendo person. And I love women who are open and honest with their sexuality and can chat with the best of them. But, if it is someone I am wanting to date, I need to know that there is chemistry between us. Chemistry can’t be known till we are in the same breathing space. So the virtual world of chatting about sex will just have to be for those with a more vivid imagination. ( Hmmm, unless I am getting paid and it’s not someone I will ever meet) I’ll stick to the old fashion, see it, feel it, touch it, and make it my own.

Moral of this story is, no matter what, you are in control of what you want to discuss! The image you want to portray or the role you want to play. Don’t think just because you are single, and you may be eager to go on a date you have to do, or discuss anything that you don’t want to.

Impressions matter, if their best foot forward is covered in warts and smells like a pig, they will most likely always be a pig.

Till the next time, I wish you health, wealth, happiness, and pig free adventures!