Let me be the first to say that being single was nothing like I thought it would be. I had been with my ex since I was 18 and he was 27. I spent 17 years (being “raised by him” per his exit letter to me) with him. So at 36 and entering the “dating world”, dating was inconceivable to me, and I was definitely not prepared. But let me be the first to tell you, you will date again. God willing you will find Mister perfect for you, right out of the gate but if not I’m here to help. Follow along on my journey, I plan to share some pointers (not penises, I don’t share those) that will help you navigate the dating world, or at the very least help you to laugh. (my dates have made me laugh)
First off you will get post separation skinny, (the I’ll show you phase) and you will eventually start to accept being on your own. (this is after you realize the post relationship body, won’t get him back) Slowly you start accepting your friends invitations to get you out of the house and this is where the adventure begin….
Girls night out has a whole new meaning when you are single verses when you were married. You start to realize you are not a dog (well maybe a bitch), and your ex was not the only man in the world! There are real people out there, and get this they want you! ( holy crap, some of them are HOT!!!) Yes, even some of those hot ones want you. (OMG did you see that guy across the bar, he just smiled at me) But there will also be a lot of, why do you think I would want you moments in your life too. (sweet baby Jesus, did he even shower this week) Pace yourself with dating, there are a lot of guys out there. (hot does not mean smart, and smart does not mean rich, and rich does not me nice, but smelly does mean gross)
You are going to go through a phase where you feel the need to accept every dinner invitation, (it’s rude to say no, right!) and you will crave the attention like a drug.(damn I’m wanted) DON’T fall for it. Dinners are not FREE….. There is a cost to that dinner, drink, coffee, and even just a walk in the park. This is where you will learn quickly that dating is not what it used to be. There are costs to pay, whether it’s your time, splitting the bill, or having to listen to him vent about his ex, child support or how his mother didn’t wash his clothes in time to meet you. And yes some even expect sex! (gasp) There are prices to be paid for this date/meet and greet, etc., and you need to be willing to pay. So know the cost! Dating can and will suck the life out of you, if you let it. Choose wisely, you DON’T have to accept every invite, you can say the N word. NO and be prepared to say the other N word, NEXT! Talk, yes I mean literally talk on the phone before going on a date with them. (oh my how much gas, time, makeup , hairspray, I could of saved myself if I had done this) More to follow on this subject….
I wanted to write this today because I think many of us go into the big bad world of being single, not realizing that it’s not only ok to be single, it can be fanfreakingtastic if you choose to make that way. You do not have to be on the arm of your soul mate right now. You have to learn that you can fly all on your own before you can fly well with company. Yes, your mom may of pushed you out of the nest to fly, and and yes you actually flew for a bit, but you flew into a new nest with a partner to steer you. Or you may of flapped around (snickering to myself) for a bit before settling down into a comfy new nest. Or you may of hopped out of that damn nest all on your own. What ever the case may be if you are single right now, please know that it’s ok, you will be ok. You can navigate this new world, all on your own, without feeling like a failure. And don’t worry that if you’re alone today, you will be alone for the rest of your life. (Men need sex, you won’t be alone forever) Time heals wounds,of your mind, body, and soul needs to find out who they are, on their own again, without the influence of another.
I will be covering the dating area extensively over the course of my blog because it’s the reason I wanted to start it. I have done lots and lots dating, and no you can not shame me for it. I am a grown ass (fully grown ass) single woman who pays my own bills, so I live the life I want to, as you should to.
So until next time I wish you health, wealth and happiness, and if you can get it, I wish you some great sex as well….