Single life….

Let me be the first to say that being single was nothing like I thought it would be. I had been with my ex since I was 18 and he was 27. I spent 17 years (being “raised by him” per his exit letter to me) with him. So at 36 and entering the “dating world”, dating was inconceivable to me, and I was definitely not prepared. But let me be the first to tell you, you will date again. God willing you will find Mister perfect for you, right out of the gate but if not I’m here to help.  Follow along on my journey, I plan to share some pointers (not penises, I don’t share those) that will help you navigate the dating world, or at the very least help you to laugh. (my dates have made me laugh)

First off you will get post separation skinny, (the I’ll show you phase) and you will eventually start to accept being on your own. (this is after you realize the post relationship body, won’t get him back) Slowly you start accepting your friends invitations to get you out of the house and this is where the adventure begin….

Girls night out has a whole new meaning when you are single verses when you were married. You start to realize you are not a dog (well maybe a bitch), and your ex was not the only man in the world! There are real people out there, and get this they want you! ( holy crap, some of them are HOT!!!) Yes, even some of those hot ones want you. (OMG did you see that guy across the bar, he just smiled at me) But there will also be a lot of, why do you think I would want you moments in your life too. (sweet baby Jesus, did he even shower this week) Pace yourself with dating, there are a lot of guys out there. (hot does not mean smart, and smart does not mean rich, and rich does not me nice, but smelly does mean gross)

You are going to go through a phase where you feel the need to accept every dinner invitation, (it’s rude to say no, right!) and you will crave the attention like a drug.(damn I’m wanted) DON’T fall for it. Dinners are not FREE….. There is a cost to that dinner, drink, coffee, and even just a walk in the park. This is where you will learn quickly that dating is not what it used to be. There are costs to pay, whether it’s your time, splitting the bill, or having to listen to him vent about his ex, child support or how his mother didn’t wash his clothes in time to meet you. And yes some even expect sex! (gasp) There are prices to be paid for this date/meet and greet, etc., and you need to be willing to pay. So know the cost! Dating can and will suck the life out of you, if you let it. Choose wisely, you DON’T have to accept every invite, you can say the N word. NO and be prepared to say the other N word, NEXT! Talk, yes I mean literally talk on the phone before going on a date with them. (oh my how much gas, time, makeup , hairspray,  I could of saved myself if I had done this) More to follow on this subject….

I wanted to write this today because I think many of us go into the big bad world of being single, not realizing that it’s not only ok to be single, it can be fanfreakingtastic if you choose to make that way. You do not have to be on the arm of your soul mate right now. You have to learn that you can fly all on your own before you can fly well with company. Yes, your mom may of pushed you out of the nest to fly, and and yes you actually flew for a bit, but you flew into a new nest with a partner to steer you. Or you may of flapped around (snickering to myself) for a bit before settling down into a comfy new nest. Or you may of hopped out of that damn nest all on your own. What ever the case may be if you are single right now, please know that it’s ok, you will be ok. You can navigate this new world, all on your own, without feeling like a failure. And don’t worry that if you’re alone today, you will be alone for the rest of your life. (Men need sex, you won’t be alone forever) Time heals wounds,of your mind, body, and soul needs to find out who they are, on their own again, without the influence of another.

I will be covering the dating area extensively over the course of my blog because it’s the reason I wanted to start it. I have done lots and lots dating, and no you can not shame me for it. I am a grown ass (fully grown ass) single woman who pays my own bills, so I live the life I want to, as you should to.

So until next time I wish you health, wealth and happiness, and if you can get it, I wish you some great sex as well….

Do what ya gotta do…

For those of you who may not know, I am all about full disclosure. Many times my friends will yell out TMI and cover their ears. Well I am going to disclose how stupid but effective I can be.

As some of you may be aware of my roof leak / major termite damage as over taken my freshly made over living room. ( life likes to throw curves) Well I am expecting 16 to 20 people not only for thanksgiving but then again for a holiday party. ( WTH am I thinking). So since there is no money fairy coming to repair this damage, I decided to make that “B” pretty.

Last night, much to my daughters chagrin I decided to wrap this little baby up. Throw back up the mantle and act like life is good. Don’t worry I will be doing more to this to make it look a little better, but I couldn’t wait to share in my silliness.

This morning when I was thinking about this paper it made me realize that this is how I get through my day. For weeks I have stared at this hole and contemplated what I can do with it, how can I fix it and mostly just cried about my poor luck.

But like life, sometimes you just have to patch over it and move on. Each day, even when I don’t feel like it, I get up and put on makeup, do my hair and slap on my sarcastic attitude and smile. I move on, there is no reason to keep staring at the bad things that happen. Picking at a sore does nothing but make it scar and last forever.

Yes I know I will have to get this damage to the house fixed. (DUH I know I am blonde but even I know this bandaid won’t stay) But for this week, this wrapping paper will  let me enjoy my friends and family and focus on the many things that I am thankful for,instead of the curve balls that life likes to throw at me.

Here’s to you all being able to focus on the good this week, slap on a bandaid and move forward. You can do it!

Health, wealth, and happiness starts with you…

Hello, is this thing on?

Let me start with, YES there is life after 40. There is life after marriage; miscarriages, IVF, after having children, after divorce, after bankruptcy, dating, heartbreaks, diet failures, bad sex, roof leaks, termites, and all the other crap that life likes to throw at us just when we think we’ve made it through the worse. I don’t care how hard it may seem, there is life after these things come and go. I’m living breathing proof of that.

My name is Shawn and I am a 43 year old, dreadfully sarcastic, single mom of three absolutely beautiful, amazingly stubborn, strong minded, and extremely sarcastic daughters. (Yes, I know it’s my fault. Thanks mom for reminding me) I am divorced, own a home, work, go to school, socialize, and date. I am a DIY’er, sometimes because I want to, most times because I am to poor to pay someone else. Either way it gets done.

I am starting this blog with the intention to tell you that you are not alone in this journey. There are a lot of us out here, and we need to stick together to take over the world. (swooping of cape and hair blowing in the wind) My dream, well my hope is to bring some humor to all the turmoil that happens in our daily lives, (laugh helps when you can’t have wine)not only as single mom’s, as women in general. Being a woman is a pain in the ass, but I love it. Men don’t respect ya (piss on em), other women want to cut ya (good thing I’m thick), cuss ya and keep you down. Most men and even some women, will tell you that can’t do something that is generally termed MAN work (prove them wrong).

I will try to update regularly, I’ve never followed a blog so I’m clueless to what the norm is. But I promise when I have something good to tell, you will be one of the first to hear it. Really wanting a catchy signing off phrase, live long and prosper is taken. Hmmm, how about….. Here’s to your health, wealth and happiness till we meet again…

Guess what… It’s Friday…..

Every Friday is usually a good Friday, but on this particular Friday, my girls come home and next week will be a short week at work. Who could complain about that?  I am ready to get my weekend started, and enjoy the time spent away from my desk in the dungeon, and my fellow co workers. (not that they are bad, well no too bad)

This weekend will consist of homework and hopefully some home repairs and clean up. For the first time ever I will be having a crapload (redneck english) of people for Thanksgiving. So I need to pick up (scrub my entire house) for company that is coming.  We will discuss that next week, when I’m on crack (legal diet pills, don’t report me) while trying to get everything done in time. Till then, wishing you health, wealth and happiness…..